So you’re curious about tantra? Your curiosity is so exciting and welcome! I fully acknowledge that for many people this is diving into the depths of the unknown, but the rewards can be great. It could lead you down a journey of unconditional self-love, experiencing more intimate and meaningful relationships, and feeling immense pleasure in both your body and in all aspects of life.
Does this sound like something you want?!
You might already be a ‘heck yes!’ You might be thinking, ‘Yes but I’m still not sure’ or you may just still be curious. If you want to know more or you’re interested in moving through your own resistance, thenyou’re in the right place.
Tantra has a long history. In short, it’s an ancient spiritual modality out of the Indic region that has many different practices often using movement, sound and breath. Some strands of tantric yoga are not sexual at all, while others areusing bodily experiences (including sex) to get closer to the Divine and/or enlightenment. Tantra has the ability to help you shed layers of unwanted belief patterns, and support you to come into your full truth and power.
In my workshops I share a more ‘neo tantra’ style of practice. I’ll utilise individual, partner and group practices that help you discover more about your own personal connection to yourselfSome common practices you might be familiar with are meditation, breathwork and dance. Yes, you will be able to apply what you learn to the bedroom, but nothing we do in the workshops will be implicitly sexual. Few other modalities actively explore sexuality as a vital aspect of overall health and wellbeing. While better sex is not the explicit goal of tantra, it’s certainly a welcomed outcome. Our social conditioning has often made us feel shame around our own sexuality and discussing our less than ideal sex lives. Sex is a tool to greater self-awareness and how we show up in the bedroom, can reflect how we show up in life. For exampleif you can’t fully communicate your desires sexually, you may also struggle to express your desires at work or at home.
Before I continue further, I want to be clear that you don’t need a partner or to be sexually active with anyone (other than yourself) to receive the full benefits! Many people think of tantra as group orgies (yup, I just said it!), but in reality there is a very diverse spectrum of people who practice including those who abstain, right through to being very sexually active. There are people who are in all arrangements of relationships; single, monogamous, open, polyamorous or somewhere in between. There are older people practicing it, younger people, all sexual orientations and body types. Everyone is welcome andthat’s the beauty in it. We benefit so much by learning off others and how they choose to be, even if it’s not our own path.
In the workshops we focus on developing the whole self. One principle I love from tantra is, ‘You are your first lover’. If you can’t love yourself unconditionally or know what you like, how can you ever expect anyone else to? And you know what? That’s normal because it’s taboo to talk about how deeply empowering and vital sexual energy is. Worse stillare the consequences from never being taught. Lack of knowledge breeds unconscious sex and disrespect for our bodies. These actions, through no fault of our own, often leads to negative experiences between people that have left many with damaging imprints around their own and others sexuality.
In my experience, the truth is, that if people felt safe enough to share their sexual and emotional challenges openly, we would find that there would be many commonalities;
- I am ashamed of my body
- I have low libido
- I’m in my head during sex
- My partner and I snap at each other
- I feel like I can’t tell me partner exactly what I want/need
- I have performance anxiety
- I need high levels of stimulation to get turned on
- My negative emotions sometimes take over my life
- I want deeper trust and connection with my partner(s)
- I just lack ‘lust’ in life
- I just want better sex!…and so on and so on.
Awakening your sexual energy is like adding rocket fuel to your life. It’s a powerful force that gives you more energy, creativity, happiness, connection and physical health. It has been repressed inside most of us for so long. Think back to your sexual education classes in school. Sex Ed. does a great job of making sure we’re safe during sex, but in my experience doesn’t explore how beautiful and connecting sex can be to others and ourselves.
So where do we learn how to ‘make love’ then? Most likely through porn, or by fumbling our way through some negative experiences, and trying to implement second hand information. So how we first interact with, and learn about sex has a profound impact on how our sex life is as adults. The social conditioning around sex often means that without even realising it, our sex lives are replications on what we think sex ‘should’ be. What it should look like, sound like, feel like. In actual fact, who the hell knows? Some conditioning that tantra starts to challenge are;
- Sex is all about orgasm
- I should keep going because my partner likes it
- Men are always ready to go
- Sex is mainly about penetration
- I should sound or look a certain way to show my partner that I’m ‘enjoying’ it
- It’s not safe to get upset or angry during sex
- I need a partner in order to grow my sexual energy
Do any of these apply to you? You would be in the majority of people if they did.
The above are just some ideas on what we may have learned to be true, butthat actually hinder us from ecstatic pleasure. When we challenge what we think we know, we open ourselves up to greater possibilities, including ideas we don’t even know exist yet.
BUT…..You’re still worried what your workmates are going to think if you come to a workshop. You’re scared to bring the subject up with your partner incase it causes problems or is offensive.
If you know what I’ve said above to be true, you’ll find a way through your ‘buts’. I invite you to really questions what you know and what you want. We are a part of a revolution that needs to start talking about sexuality more openly for our own health and the health of future generations. It’s scary as hell, I know, but stop and see if there is a deep longing within yourself that you can’t suppress anymore. Come home to the truth and pleasure that’s ready to be unlocked within your body.
Come find out more.
What is Tantra Workshop? Discussion and Practices.
Saturday 31stAugust – Dunedin.
This is a safe space where you can drop-in and discuss what tantra is, and experience what a couple of the practices are like. Bring all your questions and curiosity. Come solo or bring a friend/partner.
Find details of the event here: http://horopitoadventures.co.nz/tantra-workshops/